The Story of Mike N.

As I look back in retrospect on my drug addiction, the path to my recovery, and my employment at the Friends Connection in Philadelphia, I often think of a statement my grandfather said to me when I was a young boy. He said:

Never want what another man has unless you're willing to pay the price to get it.

I received training in mental illness and substance abuse prior to becoming employed with the Friends Connection and also during the time I have been with the program. But for me, I must admit, my intimate knowledge and personal experience is with addiction. Because of my drug addiction I have:

• lived the horrors of dereliction,
• been talked about and ridiculed,
• had people close to me lose trust, hope, and faith.

Despite my initial track record of failure in trying to recover, I finally met a person who introduced me to a 12-step fellowship, Narcotics Anonymous. I found people who idenfied with my issues and were willing to share their strength and hopes with me. My friend told me he would take this journey of recovery with me, walking with me through my successes and my failures. During the process of taking things "one day at a time," my days of recovery began turning into weeks and my weeks began turning into months and my months began turning into years. Today I have been clean for six years.

Remarkably, I found a new understanding of life. I understood what it means to be happy, joyous, and free. I experienced real love and real friendship. I no longer feel inadequate and hopeless as I felt in active addiction. It was hard work but I knew through the model of my friend that I wanted to live my life drug free. I recall once asking my friend who was my role model through those times, what could I do to thank him for all his love and support. His answer was simple and selfless. He said:

Give back to someone else what was so freely given to you.

I always respected and admired his unselfishness and I wanted to model in his likeness. I have found that the Friends Connection puts me in a position to do just that. I work with individuals with both mental illness and addiction. I find that they experience a whole range of emotions while living with these co-occurring disorders. I work with a consumer who feels excited about life and is very social one week but then the next week he is distant and withdrawn. When I see the individuals with whom I work, I see a mirror of myself, of my own beginnings in recovery. I too recall being unfamiliar with my new found feelings when I was early in recovery. I'd be very happy at times and other times I'd be very sad. It was often difficult to figure out the reasons why.

I do my best to support, encourage, listen, and be honest while modeling a new way of life for the individuals with whom I work - a life that is free from the pain and isolation of addiction. I have made a commitment to be there with them through their successes and their failures. I have made a commitment to be there to help them to build a support system with others. Often, I find myself saying the same things that my friend said to me when I was early in recovery.

I allow the people that I work with to know that they don't have to be perfect, they just have to continue to strive to make progress. This is one of many reasons why I enjoy working for the Friends Connection. Though our standards are high, I don't have to be perfect either. However, I do need to place myself in a posture to be open-minded, willing, and teachable. If I continue to do that I'll make progress myself and with the people with whom I work. My friend was a positive influence in my life now I'm in a position to display the same unselfishness and commitment that he showed me. Again, like my own recovery, working with individuals early in their recovery is difficult work, but the rewards are worth it.

I guess my grandfather was right - never want what another man has unless you're willing to pay the price to get it. ...